Travelling solo is usually the domain for single people and young people…apparently.  This is a topic of conversation I’ve been talking about lately with friends after my recent adventure hiking to Machu Picchu in Peru as a solo traveller.  I’m always amazed at the comments I get when I say I’m going to travel solo. Often I get a raised eyebrow, followed but a comment along the lines of, “But who’s looking after the children?” or “How do you get time away?” I’m guessing the feeling is the same as women get who are not married with kids by their late 30s, and who get asked why they aren’t married yet or not having babies. It’s just not socially acceptable to the broader community.

Somehow, it’s deemed acceptable, however, to be a solo traveller in your twenties when you’re young and either just had your heart broken or lost on what career path to take. Or, in your later prime, as a silver-head nomad, either widowed or retired. But somehow in the middle of life, and especially if you have children, it’s not deemed as appropriate? And don’t get me wrong, I love family vacations and having girls trips and travelling with other families, they are all wonderful for different reasons, but I also happen to like solo travel every now and again too. Here’s why:

#1 The Plan is Always Yours

In my life there is a lot of planning. There needs to be – I have three children, all very active with after-school activities, a job and household to run, just like most women my age… It’s ALL about the plan and multi-tasking and massive organisation skills. So sometimes when I travel, I love, love, love, not having to plan too much. It’s like my little bit of blissful freedom where my brain doesn’t have to memorise a bunch of to-do lists, weekly planners and calendar updates. Everyone travels in different ways, and that’s why travel is so unique to each person, but for me, I like to have a basic plan but not be determined by an agenda for every day of the whole trip. I love not having a locked-in schedule; I always find something that is unique and surprising and something that I wouldn’t have been able to experience if I was locked into a plan.  Some have been quite unpredictable and not example experiences I’d recommend. But the point is, it wasn’t boring or mundane or predictable.

And on that note, I do believe in using a qualified travel agent for the bones of a good trip, as they’re a godsend for organising decent accommodation, transfers, special deals and importantly helping you get you out of trouble if your plans don’t go to schedule. But I also like having some time left to explore for myself too and I often find if I’m not locked into a specific plan my travels take a unique path and always feels like so much more of an adventure. And I don’t believe in FOMO for solo travel. If you’ve booked an adventure, you won’t miss out on anything because, well think about it, it’s an adventure!

#2 Meeting New Friends

I thrive on meeting new people, because I learn so much from them. People often assume travelling solo equates to travelling lonely. But I often find it the exact opposite. I always find interesting people on solo trips who have the most amazing stories to share if you give them a chance. I love meeting new people because I find it grounds you to where you realise the majority of people in the world who come from different cultures and different backgrounds are more ‘good’ than ‘bad’ and often more ‘similar’ than ‘different’ to you. Mind you, the flip side is I also find people who I can’t relate to, and who can be annoying and whingey when they travel.  Which confirms my point as to why it’s so special when you do meet like-minded friends who you connect with on the road. Travel can educate you in a way that no book or school can, and sometimes the people you meet on the road can ultimately become friends for life.

#3 You become a master of problem-solving

If you’ve travelled solo before or if you’re a frequent traveller, you’ll understand what I mean when I say; things can go wrong sometimes when you travel.  And as cautious and smart as I am when I travel, even the best of us get it wrong sometimes and are forced to find a solution to a problem. Firstly, there’s a good chance you’ll get lost at some point, so always have your phone charged, have an extra battery on standby as it happens a lot, and remember most locals are more than happy to help you out if you ask. Secondly, if you lose your valuables or have your valuables stolen, make sure you have copies of everything backed up either back in your hotel room or with someone from home. Thirdly, sometimes in foreign countries, political problems or unsafe situations happen out when you least expect it. Use your gut instinct and if you’re feeling unsafe, get somewhere safe, and always note where your local police stations are and embassy information in case you need it. It seems like common sense, but you need to be able to react calmly and problem-solve when you’re in one of these situations. If you’re a smart traveller and you take the right precautions, there is no reason why you should feel unsafe or get yourself into a dangerous situation.

#4 You find a better sense of what you enjoy doing with your free time

It’s not that I don’t enjoy vacations with my family as I do, but when I travel solo I literally can spend an entire day, just strolling around and people watching. I love doing this, and it was only once I started travelling solo that I realised how much I love exploring on my own. If I want to go to an abstract museum or art show – I can; if I want to go for a run just before dinner – I can; if I want to have a beer at a local brewery – I can; if I want to eat crazy and exotic street food – I can, and all without worrying or consulting anyone. I ask most mothers, “When the last time you got to do exactly what you wanted for more than an hour or two at a time without consulting your kids, friends or husbands?” The answer if most are truthful is not before they have kids. Solution = travel solo!

#5 You get to explore at your own pace

As I’ve mentioned, everyone travels differently and at a different pace. Like I said earlier, sometimes when I explore I like to do what appears to be very little at all except strolling along streets and people watching. But other days, I like to get up early, see two museums, do a walking tour, see a live show, do a cooking class and pack as much into a day as I can which can be utterly exhausting but rewarding. Each to their own. It’s your day with only yourself to worry about so you can choose your pace.

#6 No one will judge you if you only eat chocolate or cake all day

Hey, let’s face it when you travel there are so many fabulous desserts available, and if you’ve got a sweet tooth you can’t exactly always emphasise this when your kids are around. It’s not like you can say, “hey you guys eat your greens and make sure you get some protein and mum is just going to eat chocolate all day.”  And I may, or may not have been known to survive on an all-chocolate diet once or twice in an exotic country a few times in my life.

#7 Travelling alone makes you more assertive and confident

You become the ultimate decision-maker. There’s a lot of power for a woman who can freely say “No” for the right reasons. “No, I’m not going to pay that”. “No, I’m not going to drink that.” “No, I’m not going to deal with this – not today.” And “Yes, I’m going to go there because it seems amazing,” and “Yes, I know this will cost more, but I know it’s going to be worth it in the long run.” Because you don’t have to justify your decisions to anyone, and because you don’t have any companions around to help you or take the blame if it all goes to Shiiit!  So you make excellent and assertive decisions, and you mainly live by the choices you’ve made, all on your own, which is a fabulous lesson to take back to your real life once you’ve finished with your holiday. Conquering little challenges in a foreign place will make you feel as smug as a Cheshire cat in a cream bath.

Never underestimate the lessons you’ll learn from travelling solo. Feel grateful for having the time, opportunity and and family who get your passion for solo travel. Your family will still be there when you get back, and they may have even discovered a few things from not having you around so much.

Getting lost is good for the soul. Do you agree or disagree? I’d love to hear more about any fantastic adventures from fellow adventurous solo travellers out there. Drop me a line and tell me about where you went as a solo traveller and what you learned along the way!